By Sabrina Corbin
Why am I here? What am I doing this for? These questions skip through my thoughts throughout the day. I close my laptop and heave a weary sigh, for these questions are restless and do not let me rest. For tonight, there will be no more studying and no more homework. It’s time to let my mind rest, but will it? In bed, I stare at the ceiling with an exhausted body, yet an active mind. My heart begins to beat faster. I’ve worked so hard today, but is it enough? I think of my unpredictable future, and what I want to do with the time I’ve been given. My heart yearns to help people, to create things that will solve problems for those in need, and to connect with people I never would’ve dreamed of connecting with. I have a craving to travel all over the world and build things that will help someone 100 years into the future. This life I’ve been granted is so short. I could die tomorrow and never have achieved any of the things of which I dream. Will I ever make it there?
“And when my time is up, have I done enough? Will they tell my story?” —Eliza Hamilton, “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story.”
I see myself with a degree in hand, but I’m running in place. No matter what I do, I can’t move forward. All the colors fade away into black and white. My heart is racing now, it’s harder to catch my breath, but I’m still running. I finally run into a room, and it’s full of mirrors. A giant hourglass appears with sand rushing out so quickly, as if it’s trying to return to the ocean’s floor. I look back into a mirror, but instead of my reflection, I see my tombstone. With a huge gasp, I’m awake. It was a nightmare.
No one can tell what the future holds, but neither can anyone tell me that it’s not terrifying. You may not have these thoughts or worries, but I do believe that you should briefly think on them. What will your life consist of? What will you do with the time you have? What will be the meaning of your life? It’s difficult to apply a definition to the meaning of life. Nonetheless, I think being happy and helping others satisfies that definition, for me anyway. As a college student, it’s easy to get overwhelmed in the thought of your future and all the, “What If’s?” ‘What if this doesn’t work out?’ or ‘What if I’m not happy in my career field?’ and so on and so forth. The important thing is that if you’re feeling these things or something similar, that you’re not alone.
The first thing to do is to get a handle on all the restless questions in your mind, because they do nothing to help you. Forget all the, “what if’s.” Just live your life. People will remember those who are kind and happy because they are often jealous of those attributes! Be yourself and you will leave your unique mark on those who come into your life, whether they’re with you for long or not. Forget the unnerving questions, “Why am I here?” or, “What am I doing this for?” These questions only bring anxiety and ruin unto yourself. As I said before, it’s challenging to define the meaning of life, but we are here in this beautiful world to be happy, as well as to use the time and resources we’re given to help those who need us. I find that I ask myself the second question very often, “What am I doing this for?” Here’s how I answer that question: I consider my hopeful future in the biomedical field, and I tell myself, “I am doing this for the people who need to me to succeed.” All the challenges ahead of me are going to be grueling, but worth it because I know I’m going to change someone’s life. Keep in mind, time is the most heartless of all your enemies, and she will not wait for you.
“To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.”
Never ever lose your confidence, for you are incredible. One last thing to consider is that one of the sacrifices of leaving a legacy is that you may not see the repercussions of your legacy. You may not see who your legacy has helped or how it has helped, so you simply must believe in what you’re doing. Life takes a lot of faith and belief, rather than hard proof, and, understandably, life is very hard to live. The hard proof will be what you’ve done in your life, your legacy. All in all, your legacy will be what you make it. If you want to help people, as I do, then do it and make it happen. If I’ve learned anything in my two semesters here at UWF, it’s that very few things will fall into your lap. If you want something, then go get it. Dream it and then achieve it, because the world is yours.
“I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable, I am an original.” —Aaron Burr, “Wait for It.”